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By Alan Young

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A Very Orange Comic

Location: Autobot base Panel 1: Rodimus (human) sits at Mainframe (computer mode). Rodimus: “I hate monitor duty. One of the worst things about being stuck in a human body is having to stare at monitors to get information.” Mainframe: “You think that’s routh?” 2: Mainframe converts to robot mode: “Try being the monitor that gets stared at all day.” Rodimus: “Now I’m staring at your crotch. That’s worse.” 3: Thundertron, carrying a big bag: “Ahoy, ye landlubbers.” Nighstrike: “Arrr!” Rodimus: “Hey, who are you? How did you get in here?” Mainframe: “You were supposed to be watching the monitor.” Rodimus: “You were supposed to BE the monitor!” Thundertron: “My name be Thundertron. I mean ye no harm. I’m just a simple pirate passing through, peddling me discount warez.” Rodimus: “What kind of wares?” 4: Thundertron, holding some floppy disks: “Why, titles from the golden age of PC gaming, of course. Civilization. Commander Keen. Wolfenstein 3D. Multi-World. Scorched Earth. Wing Commander. Space Quest. Myst. All the levels be unlocked and there be no pesky copy protection.” Rodimus: “Hey, that’ll help pass the time on monitor duty.” 5: Thundertron: “Me prices be low.” Rodimus, holding a disk: “Pay the bot, Mainframe.” Thundertron: “Bitcoin, please. It be untraceable.” Mainframe: “Are you sure we can trust him, Rodimus?” Rodimus: “Chill out. It’s just software.” 6: Caption: “Later…” Mianframe, lying on a bed: “Error error error error.” Ratchet: “I’ve never seen so many computer viruses in one place before. I’m going to have to wipe his core consciousness and restore from a backup.” Rodimus: “Please do whatever you can, Doc. I couldn’t stand to lose…all my saved games.”
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Published October 25, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Mainframe, Nightstrike, Rodimus, Thundertron, Transformers

Piracy

Panel 1: Deathsaurus: “What is your name and why have you requested an audience with the mighty Deathsaurus?” 2: Thundertron: “My name be Thundertron. I’m a pirate. A mighty pirate! Arrr!” Nightstrike, on Thundertron’s shoulder: “Arrr!” 3: Thundertron: “It be me understanding that ye control this region of space.” Deathsaurus: “You understand correctly.” Thundertron: “I seek an arrangement to allow me crew to operate in the nearby shipping lanes.” Deathsaurus: “And why should I allow a band of pirates to plunder within my sphere of influence?” Thundertron: “Because we offer ye a generous portion of our booty, of course.” Deathsaurus: “What sorts of goods can I expect?” 4: Thundertron, holding up a VHS tape: “I be glad you asked. I brought samples. This be a copy of Transformers: Victory from the faraway land of Japan. The picture quality be poor and there be no subtitles. It be an authentic vintage viewing esperience.” Deathsaurus: “Intriguing. What else do you have to offer?” 5: Thundertron, holding another VHS tape: “This be a copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special. It’s never been sold in any official capacity. It features Bea Arthur, the first appearance of Boba Fett, and an elderly wookiee’s sexual fantasies.” Deathsaurus: “Those are some of my favorite things. Very well.” 6: Deathsaurus: “Leave my ships alone and you may operate with impunity within my space. You may go now, pirate, and return when you have more goods for my pleasure.” Thundertroon, looking down: “I thank ye. I be departin’ as soon as I get me peg leg unstuck from your grating. This keeps happenin’ to me.”
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Published October 11, 2024
Categorized as Comics Tagged Deathsaurus, Nightstrike, Thundertron, Transformers

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